Well doc, it all started when I spied a 1979 Fisher-Price Little People camper car for .99 at Goodwill. It was like seeing an old friend. I turned it over in my hands, spun its creaky wheels, and knew I wouldn’t be putting it back. For .99, why not buy a few Little People on […]
As an avid thrift-shopper, I have acquired many classy, current, practical things second-hand. I’ll spare you the standard “I bought these Dior gowns and Van Gogh originals with change from the couch” spiel. I’d much rather tell you how fun it is to find gaudy, dated, who-on-earth-paid-for-this-the-first-time stuff. A small sampling of fairly tacky junk: […]
As seen in the opera’s costume garage.
While reading up on circumcision, I happened upon this swell advertisement for what is billed as a “health supporter belt,” but appears to be a “gentleman’s girdle.” Tomato, tomahto. (Your grandpa’s Spanx! Image source) Note that this ad describes protruding bellies as “bay windows” (complete with quotation marks) no less than five times. Five times […]
Back on April 9, 2010, I wrote a post called “I Have Never” Two years later, I’ve STILL never done those things. Nor these: — had a yeast infection — visited Europe — driven a bus — joined the “mile high club.” In fact… despite having flown many times, I’ve never used an airplane lavatory […]
Perhaps you’ve been wondering, “Golly, what is it like to wake up next to Rebekah?” You are now free to move on to other fantasies. Also, to that blogger who claimed her “schnozz” was bigger than mine— consider yourself [humbly and respectfully] schooled.
(Image source) There are two reasons I have never hired a wardrobe consultant: 1. I never been able to afford a personal shopper, wardrobe consultant, or any fashion advice beyond hairstylists asking “Are you sure about this?” 2. If a poor, unsuspecting consultant asked me “What styles do you avoid?” I’d be forced to […]
This weekend, I saw The Last of the Mohicans for the first time. My thoughts are as follows: 1. Don’t let the poster fool you: Daniel Day-Lewis was not the Last of the Mohicans. In fact, no one was. The Mahicans/Mohicans and Mohegans are alive and well. More accurate titles might include “Slaughter and […]
(Have you ever been in a doomed relationship? Have you ever been in a doomed relationship, yet convinced yourself things were peachy keen? This post from February 02, 2007 is a now-hilarious peek at top-notch denial and foreshadowing.) (Image source) My boyfriend Shortcake and I are perfect for each other; look at all we […]
Tonight, I have been watching Monty Python: Almost the Truth while catching up on our mending. As Ian wandered through the living room, I told him “this episode’s about The Meaning Of Life. Never saw that one, both of my sisters warned me it was too disgusting.” Not half an hour later, I saw clips […]