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Sal at alreadypretty.com has declared this week Summer Black-Out 2010, in which all interested parties abstain from wearing black clothing for seven days straight. Sal’s rules allow for black accessories, workout clothes, and prints containing black. But after my strict religious upbringing, I DEMAND rigorous standards; therefore, I will wear no black whatsoever for [...] Now that I have several inches of hair, shampoo is on my mind. Whee! RECOMMENDED READING: *Bill Bunn explains What’s Really In Your Shampoo. Startling stuff. *Allison Aubrey presents shampoo’s history in tells us When It Comes to Shampoo, Less Is More from npr.com. Be sure to study the final paragraph. EXPERIMENTATION: Over the [...] Today, a third grade boy paid me the compliment of a lifetime; he said, “You look like Willy Wonka… … ’s wife!” I was honored. What gave him the idea? My waistcoat and brown top hat? Perhaps his mother doesn’t dress that way. “If you want to view paradise Simply look around and view it Anything [...] As I was walking home from school, I noticed seated stranger leering at me. Not a casual glance, mind you; this guy’s eyes were GLUED to my skirt. “Waiting for the bus?” he asked. “No.” I answered, avoiding eye contact. “You like to walk, eh?” “Yes.” “I can tell! You got some BIG ol’ [...] Of all the numbskulled, senseless “Wait, what?!” things I bought last year, The Hands Down Worst Purchase of 2009 was… … two pair of Leg Avenue peachy-flesh-toned fishnet thigh-high stockings. I love fishnets, and I thought thigh-highs might suit me better than standard pantyhose. In the words of Fastball, “How could I have ever been so blind?” PRODUCT REVIEW: These Leg Avenue stockings come in one [...] Christmas IS the season of miracles; I went running this morning! It’s been a YEAR since I lifted weights, and nearly six months since I regularly ran at the college track. Shameful. Because I’ve never been athletic, my workout wardrobe is somewhat… lacking: What the well-dressed slugabed is wearing this season
“Well-groomed people are the real beauties. It doesn’t matter what they’re wearing or who they’re with or how much their jewelry costs or how much their clothes cost or how perfect their makeup is: if they’re not clean, they’re not beautiful.” —Andy Warhol, The Philosophy of Andy [...] I come from a family of blue-eyed redheads, so naturally I adore dark hair and eyes. So sultry! So unlike my flesh and blood! Moving from Indiana to the southwest was heavenly— not only did I meet swarthy, irresistible strangers, but people here are IMPRESSED with my blue eyes. Trust me, no one cared [...] On Friday I woke up late, brushed my teeth, climbed into my rattiest clothes, and staggered to work.
That’s right, I appeared publicly wearing sneakers AND a cap, two things I hate. I was a disgrace to androgyny’s noble history. David Bowie would be ashamed! Readers, I wasn’t thrilled to be seen with myself. But [...] |
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