Jaunty Dame » Grooming

An Excellent Day

Rebekah — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 04:13:03 +0000

Looking through my closet makes me feel like a March girl dressing for a ball. Where Jo frets over her scorched poplin and lemonade-soiled glove, I worry over my obviously-let-down-twice trousers. While Meg borrows Marmee’s pearl pin, I wear my mother’s hand-me-down makeup.

Nevertheless, this was an EXCELLENT day, and not just because of my first visit to Dunkin’ Donuts:

I wanted to make a “double D cup” joke because of the napkin’s “DD” cup cartoon, but Mr. Jaunty talked me out of it. Almost. The doughnuts themselves were merely adequate, likely the result of our coming so late.

In addition to eating doughnuts, the day was EXCELLENT because I finally found a suitable purse, had a pleasant job interview (nothin’ fancy), played air hockey and basketball with my dreamy boyfriend, and got my first professional haircut since December— and man oh man, not a moment too soon.

I’d sought help finding a local stylist through the Network of Nice. No luck there, so I said “TO HELL WITH IT!” and charged into the nearest MasterCuts.

A gamble, yes, but I struck gold; there was no wait, the stylist listened to me, paid attention to the photo I brought in, didn’t try to upsell me, was happy to answer my questions, and was a charming person, to boot… “So somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good.”

As always, click to enlarge:

Notice the lovely scenery… Color-wise, this is the most “me” outfit I’ve ever assembled. Muted blue, green, and brown, darker teal shoes and bag for contrast, silky shirt under canvas jacket… ahh.

Jacket – Picasso Style; second-hand, self-altered
Top – no tag, second-hand, dyed
Trousers – Larry Levine via Marshalls, obviously let down twice. ~sigh~
Shoes - Hardly visible, but hey. Target 2009
Bag - Forever 21

One really shouldn’t talk to the photographer.

How was your day?

Buzz Cut Photo Glut

Rebekah — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 12:30:16 +0000

Saturday night, an adoring fan — no wait, it was Angela — asked me “Did you really have a buzz cut previously?”

Yes, I did. Getting ready in the morning was a breeze. Freed up lots of time for… Photoshop, evidently.

When I buzzed my head, well-meaning acquaintances warned me that no man would find me attractive. I retorted that I didn’t WANT to date men who’d write me off over a haircut. I stuck to my guns, and six months later met Ian — known here as Mr. Jaunty.

So there.

Do You Shampoo?

Rebekah — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:00:28 +0000

Now that I have several inches of hair, shampoo is on my mind. Whee!

RECOMMENDED READING:

*Bill Bunn explains What’s Really In Your Shampoo. Startling stuff.

*Allison Aubrey presents shampoo’s history in tells us When It Comes to Shampoo, Less Is More from npr.com. Be sure to study the final paragraph.

EXPERIMENTATION:

Over the past six months, I’ve been weaning my scalp off its shampoo habit:

1) I diluted my [eco-heinous] shampoo and put it in a foam pump bottle. Mr. Jaunty and I have been sharing that big ol’ bottle of Tresseme since 9/3/2009; I wrote the date on the bottle to monitor how long it’d last. It’s standard, environmentally icky stuff, but we’re using less daily and adjusting our scalps to less detergent. Baby steps, yo.

2) I tried J. R. Liggett’s Herbal Shampoo Bar

GOOD NEWS: It has lovely ingredients, smells nice, and lathers beautifully (which, we now know, means nothing). It left my hair feeling squeaky clean —which was initially unsettling— but it always looks normal once it’s dried.

BAD NEWS: It’s about $7 a bar, and there’s no WAY it’ll last as long as Liggett claims; as recommended, I’ve left mine on a wooden soap dish to dry between uses…and it still shrank down considerably after a mere dozen washes.

NOTE: livecurlylivefree.com says that shampoo bars should always be followed with a vinegar-based rinse to balance their high alkalinity. I put two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar in an old Dr. Bronner’s bottle, filled it with water, and keep it in my shower for days I use the Liggett shampoo bar. Easy as pie, and the vinegar smell disappears once my hair’s dry.

3) Most days, I “wash” my hair with a no-silicone conditioner; I pour a quarter-sized dollop in my hand, rub my palms together, and massage the conditioner into my scalp with my fingertips. Works fine! I’m currently using el cheapo White Rain conditioner from the Dollar Tree, but will upgrade to something less chemically once the bottle’s empty.

So! That’s my scalp.

DISCUSSION:

Have you tried any “no ‘poo” routines? Fancy hippie shampoos? Something else entirely?

Andy Warhol on Grooming

Rebekah — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:46:46 +0000

“Well-groomed people are the real beauties. It doesn’t matter what they’re wearing or who they’re with or how much their jewelry costs or how much their clothes cost or how perfect their makeup is: if they’re not clean, they’re not beautiful.”

—Andy Warhol, The Philosophy of Andy Warhol

Sow’s Ear vs. Silk Purse

Rebekah — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:26:52 +0000

On Friday I woke up late, brushed my teeth, climbed into my rattiest clothes, and staggered to work.

That’s right, I appeared publicly wearing sneakers AND a cap, two things I hate. I was a disgrace to androgyny’s noble history. David Bowie would be ashamed!

Readers, I wasn’t thrilled to be seen with myself.

But all bad things must end; that evening I slathered myself with lotion and makeup, gave my hair a stern talking-to, wriggled into a slinky gown, and strutted to a concert with my head held high.

It was choir performance, see, and my conductor wanted her singers formally attired; ”fluffed and puffed”, as she put it.

Fluff fluff! Puff! Don’t let the photo fool you; I still have hips.

That’s how I went from Boy Next Door to Old Hollywood Glamour in 40 minutes. Neat trick, huh?

Try this at home!

Cup o’ the Diva to you!

Rebekah — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 00:20:59 +0000

Before I could wax poetic about many-splendored Diva Cups, Allie at My Wardrobe Today beat me there.

If you are a 1) person who has menstrual periods and hates buying overpriced wads of cotton or 2) a person who hates landfills and can influence your friends/family who DO have periods or 3) some combination of the two, then read Allie’s review here.

I’ve used my Diva Cup for years now and highly recommend them to ladyfriends.

Five [Somewhat Personal] Points for Inquiring Minds:

— I hacked the entire stem off mine, it was pokey and wholly unnecessary

— Speaking of wholly unnecessary things, I’ve never bought DivaWash.

— I bought size B, recommended for woman post-vaginal childbirth or past 30. Why? Because it’s a mere two sixteenths of an inch different than size A. Why shell out twice?

— I’m not married to this brand. The Keeper/Mooncup may be cheaper/readily available in your area. The Keeper predates DivaCup AND is made in America, both good to know.

Note that the Keeper/Mooncup sizing system is opposite DivaCup’ s: Keeper says B is for pre-baby, A for after.

— Like many other women, I had FAR fewer monthly cramps once I switched from tampons. I’m a believer.

Any further questions, class? Please leave a comment below.

(Psst! If you’re shy about girl-function talk, then send your questions to rebekah (at) jauntydame (dot) com.)

Lemons and Talons

Rebekah — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:09:23 +0000

I wore flip-flops from June through October , keeping my toenails painted a cheerful rosy pink. I loved glancing down and seeing well-groomed feet. ‘See?’ I’d think, ‘You’re not frumpy any more! Why, you even maintain a decent pedicure!’

But months of nail polish will do bad, bad things to a girl, and under that coat of rosy pink my nails grew increasingly stained.

By autumn, my toenails were Harvest Gold. (Hyperbole? I’ll never tell.)

Oh, I know what you’re all thinking; “Rebekah, why didn’t you use a base coat of clear polish?” Friends, I lie awake asking myself the same thing. But having missed the ounce of prevention, I needed a pound of cure.

The Internet claimed that scrubbing one’s nails with lemon would return them to their original healthy color and warned me to moisturize afterward — lemon can be drying. Easy enough.

I trotted to the nearest grocery store and spent $1 on three pretty, plump lemons. I hurried back home, sawed a lemon in half, spread a towel on my bed to create a work surface, rolled up my jeans, climbed onto the bed, and — came to a sudden halt.

How could I desecrate a lemon? Lemons should be cherished; squeezed over freshly steamed veggies or made into lemonade. Lemon wedges are for iced tea and Aunt Dorothy’s lemon cake, not for grinding into my grotty yellow talons (thanks, Sal!).

There was no turning back. ‘Twere well it were done quickly. I took a deep breath, seized half a lemon, and scrub scrub scrubbed my big toenails. I destroyed two whole lemons this way, rubbing the pulp into my nails, splashing seeds/juice thither and yon.

Know what? It worked pretty well! My claws weren’t 100% restored to former glory, but they were no longer earwaxy yellow. I washed my feet, lotioned up the ol’ nails, and planned to finish the next day.

Mr. Jaunty, unaware of my foot-fixing agenda, used the final lemon to make cocktails. It died a noble death.

Lesson learned, folks! Since that day I’ve kept my toenails bare, neatly filed and buffed. While I’m enjoying these naked nails, I may yen for polish someday… and next time, I’ll remember that clear base coat.