“I once saw a series of National Geographic photos that [...]]]> “The common belief in our culture, with its Protestant work ethic, is that play and successful work are antithetical. This is a perversion of the natural order. The truth is that nature bestows superior work and problem-solving skills on creatures that love to play.

“I once saw a series of National Geographic photos that showed a raven trying to crack open a walnut. The stakes were high, because it was winter and food was scarce. The raven stood at the top of a snowy hill, holding the walnut with one claw and prying at it with his beak. He worked so hard that he finally fell right over on his back and skidded, headfirst, all the way down the hill. At this point, the raven forgot all about the nut. He spent the rest of that afternoon walking up the hill, rolling over on his back, and sliding down again. This, my dears, is nature’s way.

“My clients usually believe that in late Square Three*, as work pressure mounts, they should reduce the time they spend playing. Actually, the opposite is true. The more intensely you have to work, the more you need to take play breaks. Playing improves your creativity and problem-solving skills, minimizes burnout, and maintains high-level performance. Iron-willed self-discipline may be just the thing if you’re planning to be a ruthless psychotic despot. Otherwise, let the games begin.

“When I was teaching business school, I’d often assign hardworking students two hours of play every day during final-exam week. They invariably reported that their performance improved as a result. The reduction in study time was more than compensated for by a dramatic increase in the speed and effectiveness of their work. I’d like you to do the same thing this week; two hours a day not just vegetating or fulfilling social obligations but having genuine, all-out fun. Ask your essential self what it wants to do during playtime. See how much your productivity increases and your desire to commit mass murder recedes.”

- Martha Beck, Finding Your Own North Star, p. 336-337

*term from the book.

I scored 4/4 on Four Ways to Sabotage Your Relationship. That’s an A+, right? Right?

This makes me the Annie Oakley of shooting oneself in the foot.  Hooray! Undermined any relationships lately?

Sara, the author behind onsimplicity.net, has been AWOL since October. Perhaps blogging complicated her life. Perhaps she has been cryogenically frozen. Perhaps it’s none of my business, but I wrote to her anyway. Further bulletins as events warrant.

Read and learn:

20 Hidden Ways Your Stuff Screws You Over               Sexy Simplicity [...]]]>

Sara, the author behind onsimplicity.net, has been AWOL since October. Perhaps blogging complicated her life. Perhaps she has been cryogenically frozen. Perhaps it’s none of my business, but I wrote to her anyway. Further bulletins as events warrant.

Read and learn:

20 Hidden Ways Your Stuff Screws You Over              



Sexy Simplicity



Four Simple Ways to Make the Most of Your Day



Thanks, Sara, wherever you are.

Ah! I feel better. Do you [...]]]>

Ah! I feel better. Do you feel better?

O hasn’t come knocking, but I’m not too proud to swipe a great concept; as promised, I’ll tell you about the [...]]]> O Magazine has a monthly feature called “Five Books That Made a Difference to [Famous Person]” in which some celebrity waxes poetic about the five books that made them who they are today.

O hasn’t come knocking, but I’m not too proud to swipe a great concept; as promised, I’ll tell you about the books that most shaped my world view.

We’ll start with the most influential:

The Complete Tightwad Gazette: Promoting Thrift as a Viable Alternative Lifestyle

Voila! A big, fat book about saving money and living well with an excellent blend of specifics and general concepts, process and philosophy.

Topics include dating, car maintenance, weight loss, interior decorating, recipes (the Universal Quiche, Muffin, Casserole, and Pilaf recipes are particularly valuable), meticulous cost comparisons (Paint or siding? Can dishwashers and bread machines pay for themselves? Which kind of tape is cheapest per 1/8″?), ethics, planning weddings and funerals… … sound principles, somethin’ for everybody, and 17 pages of amazing reader success stories to end this 959-page book with a bang.

Author Amy Dacyczyn defends frugality as the means through which all manner of people can achieve all kinds of goals. Dacyczyn’s dream was to find, buy, and restore a rural pre-1900 New England farmhouse (with attached barn)— on one income. YOUR dream may be to backpack across Asia, own a Steinway for every room, or become a stay-at-home parent. The principles in The Complete Tightwad Gazette can help.

I have only one complaint; the index isn’t sufficiently thorough. Keep a notebook or stack of bookmarks nearby to mark important articles.

Now for good news! Because the book is eleven years old, your local library (free knowledge!) and used bookstore are likely to have copies. I studied my mother’s copy, then the library’s, and only THEN did I shell out $3.50 at a used bookstore for a massive tome of my own.

Having been raised in genteel poverty, I’m a passable tightwad. Why, I was even debt-free… right up until three days ago. Still, every few months I find myself getting careless about money, drifting toward the mainstream spending habits of my friends. I always turn to the Tightwad Gazette to help me pull my life back in line with my goals and ideals. Whether you’re a novice or blackbelt tightwad, you can learn from this book.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be curling up with my [secondhand] copy of this glorious book and a mug of [clearance-priced] tea, seeing what changes I can make to improve my life and my bank balance.

Care to join me?

I found the following paper lying in a computer lab and couldn’t tear my eyes away:

————————————————————————————————————————————

Firstname Surname

UNIV 150

Oct. 15th, 2009

Job Offers Presentation Response

I’m very meticulous about how I plan my life out, what I’m advancing towards in [...]]]>  

I found the following paper lying in a computer lab and couldn’t tear my eyes away:

————————————————————————————————————————————

Firstname Surname

UNIV 150

Oct. 15th, 2009

Job Offers Presentation Response

I’m very meticulous about how I plan my life out, what I’m advancing towards in the future and how I’m going to pathway there. So it’s no surprise to me that I’d find this presentation irrelevant, though it was very kind of our instructors to allow us the opportunity to attend this presentation, as circumstances otherwise might have deemed this information necessary to myself, as I’m sure it found its way with other students who may not be as well experienced or educated by this point.

————————————————————————————————————————————

Remarkable as that second sentence is, the first one’s my favorite. Way to pathway, Mr. Surname!

Arrogance + Ignorance = Arrognornce = English professors must cry themselves to sleep at night

It was a warm night at Jaunty Headquarters. I leafed through the co-op’s current sales flier, hoping to find a bargain. Times were hard, even for an ace detective.

Before I could toss the flier aside, its third-rate ad copy caught my eye:

“Why are the flavors of spinach and artichoke always [...]]]>

It was a warm night at Jaunty Headquarters. I leafed through the co-op’s current sales flier, hoping to find a bargain. Times were hard, even for an ace detective.

Before I could toss the flier aside, its third-rate ad copy caught my eye:

“Why are the flavors of spinach and artichoke always paired up? Because they taste awesome together, that’s why!”

I tipped back my fedora. Something was wrong here. Very wrong.

“If you like pasta, then you’ll like this pasta!”

Why would the co-op hire first-graders to write its advertisements?

“Blue Sky All-Natural Soda is Super-Fizzy, Super-Fun, and Super-Fantastically Super-Delicious!”

My eyes narrowed.

“This coconut milk yogurt is so delicious, they named it So Delicious! I guess they weren’t feeling very creative that day…”

These were no first-graders; this was an inside job. I snuffed out my incense and paced the room.

“Made from the pure, wholesome milk of a cow and non-animal rennet for a tasty, yet lumpy, treat.”

Someone wanted to bump off the co-op by making good, organic food sound completely revolting. That much was plain.

“There are only about four uses for bread, and one of them is toast.”

Criminals always leave a trail, and this guy was no exception. He had typed “Return of the Beach Wolf!” across the top of page 3, plain as day.

“Diced tomatoes are much better than dice that have been tomatoed. True story.”

I cringed. Who was this Beach Wolf? A drunken frat boy? A numbskulled bimbo with a deadline?

“Not flatulent enough? Try beans!”

Whoever it was, this Beach Wolf character was disgracing my co-op. I pulled on my trench coat, locked up Headquarters, and hurried into the night. Jaunty Dame was on the case.

This semester, I re-read Louisa May Alcott’s classic, beloved, time-tested, heartwarming, [insert further adjectives] novel Little Women.

I read with purpose; I needed  to know how much Meg had spent on silk, and the internet wouldn’t tell me. That’s right; I read an entire book instead of flipping to the pertinent chapter, singlehandedly taking procrastination to new heights.

But enough [...]]]>

This semester, I re-read Louisa May Alcott’s classic, beloved, time-tested, heartwarming, [insert further adjectives] novel Little Women.

I read with purpose; I needed  to know how much Meg had spent on silk, and the internet wouldn’t tell me. That’s right; I read an entire book instead of flipping to the pertinent chapter, singlehandedly taking procrastination to new heights.

But enough about me.

Do you remember the silk episode? Newly-married Meg is often bored while her husband works, so she goes shopping with her friend Sallie. Under Sallie’s affluent influence Meg buys (among other things) twenty-five yards of silk for a new dress…. … with money from the housekeeping budget. You know, the money John earns while Meg’s bored at home.

Here’s the question that kept me up at night:
How much did Meg pay for those 25 yards of silk?

ANSWER: $50.

That’s in 1869* dollars, mind you. According to this inflation calculator, ”What cost $50 in 1869 would cost $799.28 in 2008. Also, if you were to buy exactly the same products in 2008 and 1869, they would cost you $50 and $3.25 respectively.”

For Meg’s sake, I sincerely hope those numbers are wrong. Either way, 140 years have passed, and I’ve never spent fifty clams on a dress. Besides, Meg didn’t buy a dress; she bought raw material;

“‘It isn’t made or trimmed’ Meg sighed faintly, for a sudden recollection of the cost still to be incurred quite overwhelmed her.”

Ooh. That’s a problem.

Worse still— during her sad attempt to defend the extravagant purchase, Meg utters those five little words no breadwinner wants to hear:

“I’m tired of being poor.

“She could have bitten her tongue out the minute she had said it, for John pushed the books away, and got up, saying, with a little quiver in his voice, ‘I was afraid of this; I do my best, Meg.’”

~sniffle~

Damn, I love that book.

This story comes from the chapter called “Domestic Experiences”. If you too wish to elevate procrastination to an art form, swing by Google Books and read the whole thing. If Meg had, she could have avoided this whole incident.

Monday’s child is fair of face, Tuesday’s child is full of grace, Wednesday’s child is full of woe, Thursday’s child has far to go, Friday’s child is loving and giving, Saturday’s child works hard for his living, And [...]]]> While reading  Megan’s blog, I noticed a reference to the ol’ Monday’s Child poem. Remember it?

Monday’s child is fair of face,
Tuesday’s child is full of grace,
Wednesday’s child is full of woe,
Thursday’s child has far to go,
Friday’s child is loving and giving,
Saturday’s child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

Having been born on a Wednesday, this poem always bugged me. FULL OF WOE? Nuts to you, Devonshire residents circa 1838! Let’s prayerfully consider one of the following substitutions:

Wednesday’s child shall have no foe

Wednesday’s child loves sun and snow

Wednesday’s child’s no average joe

Wednesday’s child won’t stoop that low

Wednesday’s child will learn and grow

Wednesday’s child doesn’t rely on outmoded nursery rhymes to predict her fate, thanks

Have you ever felt ripped off by this poem? Sunday’s child hits the flattery jackpot, of course, but Thursday’s children were saddled with ambiguity. Any clumsy Tuesdays out there?

Here’s the plan:

1) Use Wikipedia to look up your birth year

2) See which weekday was fortunate enough to claim your glorious birth

3) Leave a comment for me. Does the poem describe you accurately, or not so much? Care to write a few better lines?
 

Full of woe, indeed. Hmph!