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As a young’un, I couldn’t tell Burt Reynolds from Tom Selleck. To me, they both fell into that broad category called “older dudes with mustaches” and were therefore interchangeable. I had the same problem with Robert De Niro and Al Pacino, neither of whom I’d ever actually seen in a movie. They both had dark [...] 
In some parts of the country, ice cream trucks don’t run year-round. This means SOME ice cream wagons don’t play Christmas tunes. Have I blown any southwestern minds yet? Here in NM, an ice cream van scoots down my street every afternoon. I never run out to greet it, due to: 1) veganism, yo 2) [...] 
Back in 2007, my Fairy Godmother sent me a copy of Josh Groban’s Christmas album. When Grackle walked in and saw the album on my bed, he asked “When did Josh Groban get himself taxidermied?” Since that pithy remark, I’ve never ‘shopped my eyeballs… and I’ve never looked at Mr. Groban quite the same [...] 
While I can’t be sure if clay masks are doing my skin any good…
… they sure are entertaining. Kiss me, you fool! 
Can’t tell one Mahler symphony from the next? Help has arrived Six Stages of Owning an Instrument. Truth. Consult the Shakespeare Insult Kit, thou qualling, hell-hated codpiece! Recently, three separate females informed me that another woman disliked them… because they’re just so pretty. I refrained from saying “no, it’s definitely your personality she hates” [...] 
Do you remember the Kingdom Chums?
(Look, you can buy your own! This is not a recommendation!) My siblings and I used to love this cartoon— partly for its tunes and memorable imagery, partly because we weren’t allowed to watch most other movies on Sundays. If you’re dying to [...] 
(image via humble brick home) Last Friday, I decided to walk to the store. Balmy weather, high spirits, I got plenty o’ nothin’ and nothin’s plenty for me. Life seemed so ginger peachy, I broke into a cheerful run. Before I’d covered even two blocks, a police car drove past, [...] 
Today is the day you have all been waiting for: I am discussing my sordid relationship with veganism over at Peculiar Girl. Fun with outtakes! Alright, fine, so no one but Kelly has ever asked about my sordid relationship with veganism, and even she didn’t call it that. Humor me. While you’re visiting Peculiar [...] 
Do you realize that I lived not half an hour from Just Born, Inc. for an entire year and never once cracked jokes about the prevalence of Peeps? Talk about squandered opportunities! Happily, I had the foresight to photograph some local color ‘n’ kitsch: A mural in the local airport— not up [...] 
Today, someone found this blog by searching for “wonder years “theres plenty of room in kevin arnold\’s crotch”. Now, I can’t imagine how that quote led them here—– do we ever discuss Kevin Arnold OR roomy crotches?—but this is the ONLY line from The Wonder Years that I know. Anonymous internet stranger, you are [...] |
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