Playing Favorites

When I was young (and men were men, etc. etc.), my family would sometimes pose silly, hypothetical questions to each other: if you were a Beatle, which would you be? If we believed in arranged marriages, who would you have me marry? Being relentlessly analytical, these questions often led to hour-long discussions of Beatlesy merits, the agony/ecstasy of marrying the boys we knew, and so on.

Attempts to play such games with Mr. Jaunty have proven fruitless:

ME: If you could have any animal, what would it be?
HIM: A dog.
ME: I meant to say “if you could have any animal IN THE WORLD, what would it be?”
HIM: I knew what you meant. A dog.

 

These days, I play the game alone. Here’s a hypothetical situation I frequently revisit:

All of your exes appear on your doorstep simultaneously. All are in grave danger of some kind, and you can only save one. Who will you save?

For me,  there’s no contest: I’d save Grackle. Not just because he is the smartest, best-dressed, funniest, and most likely to change the world.

Because he’s my favorite, and that’s all there is to it.

Happy birthday, Grackle.

(Mr. and Mrs. Grackle in the wild. Image source)

 Who would YOU save?

 

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10 comments to Playing Favorites

  • Jacob

    Wow…what a great question, which I have no idea how to answer. This will require some very careful consideration. I’d like to ask my exes: “Exes, please make your case on why you would be worth saving above all others.”

    [Reply]

  • Annie

    HA! Definitely laughed out loud reading your hypothetical scenario. Thanks for blogging. <3

    [Reply]

  • Rapunzel (aka Mom)

    Wait–which one is Grackle?

    Is he the one who came east to visit when I lived in the little studio
    -or-the one with the annual holiday named after him
    -or- the one with the silky voice whom you talked to and texted with on the phone your entire Christmas at home from college while he visited family in Florida
    -or-the one who came to college here himself and has a farmer granddad
    -or-someone your own mother knows nothing about
    ? ? ? ? ?

    [Reply]

  • Rapunzel (aka Mom)

    PS-

    If you could have any animal IN THE WORLD as a pet,

    but it’s soul would be the reincarnation of one of your exes,

    what would the animal be,

    and which ex would reincarnate into your pet’s body?

    [Reply]

  • Mia

    Question: do I HAVE to choose one?

    Oh, maybe that’s too heartless of me. I don’t think I’d properly count him as an ex, because we did less going out and more making out, but I’d save the one with the nice cheekbones. He was a decent egg.

    [Reply]

  • Jacob – I’d like to sit in on those presentations.

    Annie – For you, anything.

    Rapunzel – Grackle visited you. He’s a winner. Your next question might warrant a post of its own… it’s too intense for my weary brain.

    Mia – Nope! You can let ‘em rot, if they deserve it… and from what I vaguely remember, at least one may well deserve it. Save Mr. Cheekbones instead, your exes forfeited your favor by being… … uh… unpleasant?

    [Reply]

  • Jacob

    Actually, this gives me an idea for a story…how would such presentations go, and would they be legally defensible if there was a bureaucratic element involved with the whole process.

    Gracias, Ms. Jaunty, for I do believe you’ve passed on some inspiration. Though I don’t think I’d be able to use my actual exes as characters…maybe just their archetypes. Still, the wheels are turnin’!

    Cheers!

    [Reply]

  • Rapunzel (aka Mom)

    Ah yes, I remember Grackle. He’s definitley a winner, in all categories!

    [Reply]

    Rebekah Reply:

    That’s what his wife thinks, too!

    [Reply]

  • Rapunzel (aka Mom)

    Wise woman, that Mrs. Grackle.

    [Reply]

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