(Some internal pro vs. con debating, originally posted 5:19 PM Tuesday, May 1 2007.)
This will sound hopelessly obsessive, but it’s the truth: lately, I have found hair repulsive. Only one girl out of every 20 has hair that’s pretty enough to impress me, and I find myself wanting to convince anyone and everyone to chop it all off. Honestly, every time I look at another person, I find myself thinking, “What is hair for? How is it making our lives better? Doesn’t stubble feel delicious? I love stubble, I always have…”
This has happened to me before (several times) most notably back in March when I suddenly became obsessed with the idea of head-shaving.
I’m trying to be reasonable about this and think things out logically:
PRO: I can never get my hair to look good anyway, I might as well get rid of it
CON: My major involves performing, and baldness may look worse with my evening gown than messy hair did
PRO: I’ll be doing something I’ve never done before, and I’ve been desperately needing adventure
CON: Maybe there’s a good REASON I’ve never done it before; I could have big dents in my head! Or moles!
PRO: The new look may help me meet exciting new people, artists and free-thinkers
CON: I really, really don’t want that much attention. Even getting a ‘normal’ haircut bothers me, people make such a fuss over hair
PRO: I may look gorgeous without hair. Even just with previous short haircuts, I’ve gotten rave reviews about the shape of my head
CON: It’s more likely I’ll look like a homely, dumpy, acne-ridden, poorly-dressed bald woman… with a well-shaped head
PRO: I already have short hair. Even if I hate the shorn look, it won’t take long to get back to my current length
CON: But then, I don’t even LIKE my current length, I’m trying to get back to the Aging Rockstar look. Shaving my head will only add another six months to the wait.
PRO: As Lori pointed out, I would know who my real friends are
CON: I already know who my friends are, and there’s no one alive I suspect of using me for my looks
Why do I feel so drawn to the idea of shaving my head? Why does hair bother me so much? What am I REALLY trying to accomplish? It’s true that I dislike my hair, and it’s true that I think American women spend waaaaay too much time worrying about their appearance.
I thought about buying a good clippery-razor thing and keeping my head shaved for a year, documenting the changes it makes in my life and the way people treat me. But a year’s a looooooong time, particularly if things go badly. Maybe one of you wouldn’t mind lending me your trimmer?
I also thought about shaving my head, then taking a picture of it every morning to make a video of how quickly hair grows. It sounds like fun, but becoming a skinhead for the sake of a video I wouldn’t even know how to MAKE seems silly.
Sigh. I’ll keep you posted.
(Editor’s note: I got my first buzz cut the very next day. Tune in tomorrow to read my riveting post-buzz cut realizations! Until then, observe Persis Khambatta tearfully watching her hair fall away. Lady, I feel your pain.)