Kingdom Chums and the Original Top Ten

Do you remember the Kingdom Chums?

(Look, you can buy your own! This is not a recommendation!)

My siblings and I used to love this cartoon— partly for its tunes and memorable imagery, partly because we weren’t allowed to watch most other movies on Sundays.

If you’re dying to see more, here you go:   II      III      IV      V      VI

In case you haven’t guessed or have repressed the memory, “The Original Top Ten” here refers to the Ten Commandments, each represented by a gold record and poppy song. Yes, yes, it’s all very tacky. But the Chums were voiced by Frankie Valli, Tony Orlando, Marilyn McCoo, Debby Boone, and Billy Preston. They improved matters somewhat.

Are you wondering how the Kingdom Chums explain “Thou shalt not commit adultery” in a G rated manner? With the song Be Loyal to the One You Love!

Readers, I could analyze this cartoon all the livelong day. Must all the female characters wear short skirts? If Petey and Annie are supposed to be model Christian children, why on EARTH are they so snide? Wouldn’t Annie’s voice make top-notch ipecac? How do the circular records fit in the heart-shaped carrying case? Why does Osborne get in more trouble for almost swearing than for planning to kill Petey? Is Petey’s delivery of the recurring line “uuuuuuunbelievable!” as bad as “excuuuuse me, princess,” or worse?

Notice that the only non-Christian character is also a thieving, lying bully who uses poor grammar, threatens to kill Petey AND incites the wrath of God by [almost] taking the lord’s name in vain. Charming. However, Petey does have one major weakness… I mean, apart from being verbally abusive. No spoilers here!

Did you grow up with the Kingdom Chums?
Also, would anyone care to analyze this with me, or shall we move on?



 

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Comments

  1. I’d never heard of this before, but you had me at “Marilyn McCoo.”

    Thanks for sharing this — while everyone else is running around looking for wacky deals on Friday, I shall be learning about the Original Top Ten.

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    Rebekah Reply:

    I was afraid I’d lose you at “Debby Boone”!

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  2. I like Be Loyal To The One You Love.
    It covers a lot of territory without suggesting things the young’uns might not have thought of yet. I say let innocence last as long as possible.

    It seems to be the nature of writers of kids shows that whatever they lack in gratuitous sex they make up for with fairly pointless violence. This may be because little kids do frequently slug each other at least until they’re taught not to.
    At least this little film skipped indulging in foul mouthery.

    Some of our homeschool fare was sickeningly sweet I admit. Tenacious too. I still occasionally remind myself to Have a Gratitude Attitude or realize I’m suffering the ravages of Procrastinite.
    Ahhhh….the good ol’ days.
    Oh yeah, and Fingernails can be So Good-Looking-looking.

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    Mum Reply:

    Janeen Brady, Brite Music.
    Standing Tall, I Have a Song for You, Take Your Hat Off When The Flag Goes By…..Captain Dependable.

    It’s all coming back now.
    I suspect I’m gonna have weird dreams tonight.

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    Rebekah Reply:

    There’s no foul language, but I still wish the good Christian children were less snarky. The pop-star-voiced animals behave nicely, that’s something.

    Good ol’ Janeen Brady! Captain Dependable was by far my favorite, though I remember loving a ditty about ‘washing germies down the drain.’ I remember coloring the germs with peppermint and spearmint scented markers from Rax.

    I was looking for Captain Dependable on YouTube a few days ago. Here’s not there yet. Do you remember “Straight home, straight home, straight arrow? I’m depending on, I’m depending on you”?

    Keep your fingernails clean!

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  3. Smiley Woman says:

    I’m in shock hahaha I’ve never seen this and I believe this has never been broadcast in Spain. The unbelievable guy gets on my nerves after a while ! hahahaha =) It looks so from the 80’s

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  4. I remembered it as “Straight home, straight aim, straight arrow? I’m depending on, I’m depending on you…” but it’s been forever. I’ve not listened to ‘The Land of Obey’ in forever.
    Thank goodness.

    Also “Excuse me, Princess” will forever be the worst.

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    Rebekah Reply:

    Pint, you’re absolutely right; it IS “straight home, straight aim.” I typed it wrong, but I sing it properly. Trust me, I’m Dependable!

    Holy moses, was it really called “The Land of Obey”? It’s a wonder we turned out this well.

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    Pint Reply:

    Now that I think about it, I think “The Land of Obey” was one of the story tapes that came in the set and not the anme of the set itself. I think the set itself was called something vague like “bring up a child” or something along that line. I’m not sure. It’s been maybe 20 years or so.

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    Rebekah Reply:

    It was the Standin’ Tall series, but I can’t remember who went to the Land of Obey… I feel like a parrot was involved.

  5. This is a great post. Thank you and Google for chance to read it.

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