Within moments, a mysterious box appeared on my doorstep. A care package from my mother! What could it possibly contain?
The dress and slip I’d forgotten at her house, a pitcher from my late grandma’s collection, a foamy sponge and a panda figurine. All groovy so far….
I will here add that kippered herring is a family favorite, so getting tinned fish in the mail would seem like a GOOD thing to us. I will also add that Kinder Surprise eggs (or Kinder Überrashung) are illegal in the US, which makes them extra-thrilling. Doesn’t everyone like Pop Rocks?
THESE snacks, however, ARE for vegans:
Rice candy’s another long-time family favorite. See the bag printed with buxom women? Oddly enough, it’s full of sunflower seeds! It also contained two pieces of candy. There’s so much I don’t understand.
I’ve been unable to determine the ingredients of these items, as I can’t read characters. The peppermints have a list of “Main Ingredients” in English, but you have to wonder what the secondary ingredients were. Chemicals? PEOPLE??!
And on the not-quite-English front….
Do melons have a sweet flavor because they’re in love, or are the two thoughts unrelated?
Truthfully, I wasn’t tempted by the non-vegan snacks. I cooed over the cute packaging and separated the sheep from the goats (so to speak), setting aside all the things containing dairy for Ian or his students to enjoy. I sniffed the herring, waxed nostalgic, and moved on.
Also, please don’t get the idea that my mother’s trying to sabotage my vegan project; she’s interested in veganism herself. Betcha she just gathered up things she knew I’d like— and she certainly knows my taste buds. I just found it funny to find dairy products sneaking in the door so soon after I touted my success.
Last night, I dreamed that I was at a church potluck eating wedge after giant wedge of chocolate cake. As I reached for a tray of deviled eggs, I froze and thought “Wait, I don’t eat eggs. OH NO! How do I know those cakes were vegan?!” Tepid, for a nightmare, but dreams can help us practice day-to-day skills.
Looks like my sleeping brain is practicing veganism. Niiiiice.