After reading about my infamous razor mishap, a reader named Thomas left the following comment:
Did the same thing today :( Stupid me… Decided to go cut my own hair with a buzzer. Almost done, trimming the edges with the combless buzzer, I noticed a wisp of long hair and without even thinking, swoozz….bald spot!!! I have never felt so stupid. And senior year in high school has just begun… Do you have any good advice coping with newly acquired baldness?? Cause I could really use some cheering up
You poor dude! What a rotten time to lose all your hair. Hang in there, mister. Here’s what worked for me:
Ms. Jaunty’s Advice to the Newly Bald
1) Don’t slink around feeling embarrassed. Stand up straight and walk with confidence. You still have all the virtues, vices, and fascinating quirks you had before. All that’s changed is a little hair
2) Wear your favorite clothes. This will help you feel more like yourself. From the scalp down, you’re still rolling in style options
3) Don’t worry about what strangers think. Few of them are thinking about you, whether or not you have hair.
4) Unless you’re planning to stay bald, don’t try to get a scalp tan. In a pathetic attempt to speed-tan my pasty dome, I sunburned the crown of my head. Not an improvement. Hair grows faster than scalps heal, and skin cancer’s far more bother than baldness
5) In case you were wondering, putting makeup on your scalp won’t work. Your head isn’t nearly smooth enough. Besides, have you ever tried evenly applying makeup (or self-tanner, for that matter) to the back and sides of your head?
6) Try to keep your sense of humor, like this guy:
Doesn’t he seem like fun?
7) When all else fails, wear a hat. This won’t fly at school or work, but it’ll get you through the mall or grocery store
8) This is obvious, but recently traumatized folks need reminding: hair grows back. A week from today, you will have noticeable hair. In three or four weeks, you’ll have the haircut you initially wanted. Two months from now, you may be cutting your hair again— very, very carefully
9) In the meantime, maybe you could use this haircut to jump-start other changes. When you look different, it can feel easier to behave differently; why not experiment? Take a different route home from work and see what you find? Stand up to that jerk ? Make a new friend?
10) Look at the bright side(s). Getting ready in the morning will be a breeze. Attractive peers may wish to stroke your head. You COULD have made a careless mistake with a lawnmower or a chainsaw, not a mere razor.
Do you have any advice for Thomas or other razor victims? How have you managed terrible haircuts?