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On Sunday, as I hiked to my retail job, a rainstorm appeared and leaked all over me for half an hour. I reached the mall soaked through, dark stripes of mascara trickling down my cheeks. Did I mention that my work shirt is white? Everyone in the mall now has a masters degree in, oh, [...] 
And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he seas: and God saw that it was good. In the beginning, the Jaunties and Mr. S. did go to Seaside Heights. Image via Mr. J And the gaudy, consumerist boardwalk was good, and the cast of The Jersey [...] 
Monday, I went to the dentist. Having not been since, oh, November of 2005, I figured this check-up would lead to more appointments, eight or ten fillings, several extractions, lots of shaming and guilt, and probably drain all my savings. But no. There’s one spot I need to floss more carefully (it wants to [...] 
When I was dating Shortcake, he introduced me to David Lee Roth’s cover of Just a Gigolo. Even on my darkest, hardest days, this song forces me to smile. But even on my warmest, most generous days, I can’t stand the music video. Skip to 1:34, then cover your eyes: Perhaps you’d prefer Louis [...] 
(Originally posted on Myspace, February 17th, 2007)
Image swiped from Myspace. Good ol' Myspace Back when I was new at NMSU, I lived on campus. Every morning, I would eat with Nathan Jones in the dining hall; lunch to me, breakfast to him. My very favorite memory of Nathan is the day he [...] 
(Originally posted on Facebook during my college days, July 11th, ’07. A clear relic of some serious depression!)
My apartment is home to some hideous, ungodly insects and arachnids. Bugs, I call them. When I encounter a bug in nature, I can admire its beauty and minute detail, marveling at [...] 
There was one big reason I didn’t feel ready to shave my head (and may have put it off indefinitely). Rather, hundreds of small, bumpy, red or white, cystic, open wound, enlarged pore type reasons. I have acne. Have since adolescence, and I’m now 26. Even at best, my pores are always large, my cheeks [...] 
Wake up. Decide to trim hair. Success!
Later notice missed spot. Carelessly grab comb-less razor, shave stripe across head. Cry out in anguish, alarming domestic partner.
No recourse. Shave own head. Weep [...] 
Just today, I learned that the song “Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead” has its own wikipedia page. Now, I won’t pretend to be interested in that page’s detailed descriptions or scene-setting. But I was COMPLETELY AND THOROUGHLY floored to learn that this perfectly 60′s cover by The Fifth Estate— — swiped its punchy [...] 
What appears to be a small bowl of frosting sitting on a rock…
…is in reality a small bowl of deodorant sitting on a rock. In my front yard. Impressing the neighbors. When I started wearing homemade deodorant in March, I kept my stick of conventional deo for “Important” days. Once that [...] |
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