(Originally posted on Myspace, October 16, 2006. Remember when Myspace was considered cool?)
A few weeks ago, I had a small bike crash. I somehow got my wheel stuck on the edge of a sidewalk or something, and suddenly found myself flying through the air. I landed spread-eagle on the “Aggies for Christ” lawn, my backpack flipped over my head, limbs akimbo, bike left back in the distance somewhere, my mouth full of grass.
“MAN!” I thought to myself, “That was FABULOUS!!! I wish someone could have seen that. It must have been hilarious. I wish I could film it and post it on Myspace!”
At about 8:27 this morning, I had a small bike crash on the way to American History. Once again, my wheel caught on the edge of a sidewalk, and once again I found myself flying. Backpack thrown over my head, limbs sprawling, my poor bike left far behind, one knee and both palms stinging from the force with which they smacked the pavement, mouth full of walkway.
Instantly my mind raced back to that first, wonderful bike accident. It differed from this one in two very, very important ways:
1) Vaulting through the air and landing on the grass is comedy. Landing on pavement is bad for your teeth
2) This time…. I had witnesses
Yes, I had a live audience. I was not alone. Not so fabulous as I’d previously imagined. One guy was nice enough to pick up my bike and the scattered contents of my backpack for me while I dusted myself off and wished my parents had never met. “Are you alright?” he asked. “I feel stupid,” I said, while feeling very stupid, “But I guess I’m alright.”
I haven’t been humiliated in such a long time, I’d forgotten what it really feels like. I tell ya, it feels bad. I had a terrible time focusing in history, I was still hoping I’d die suddenly or become invisible. My hands hurt, too. Now, many hours later, the whole thing is funny again. I didn’t appreciate the witnesses, though, and boy howdy— I would NEVER want the incident filmed and posted on Myspace.
I report this story to illustrate how life’s going these days: painful, embarrassing, and only funny in hindsight.