I stood in a department store dressing room, eying my reflection in the three-way mirror. I wore a silky blue dress and red sweat socks.
My thoughts went something like this:
me: “I’ve always wanted a cocktail dress.”
ME: “Hmm? Sorry, wasn’t listening.”
me: “A dress. You know, something shiny to wear to cocktail parties.”
ME: “Do you know what a cocktail is?”
me: “Of course I do, it’s a… mixed… … drink.”
ME: “So you drink now?”
me: “No, but I should have a pretty dress in case of last-minute invitations.”
ME: “How old are you now?”
ME: “Right. In those twenty-five years, has anyone ever invited you to a cocktail party?”
me: “YOU CAN’T COUNT MY WHOLE LIFE; babies don’t drink.”
Sensing that I might lose the internal debate, I sent this blurry pic to my little sister—
—with a message saying, “If I’m honest, I’ll admit that no one’s ever invited me to a cocktail party, so….”
She immediately replied, “If you build it, they will come.“
Such a good sport.
Remember, folks; when you need a second opinion, ask someone who’s guaranteed to see things your way. The dress, tags still attached, now sits in my bedroom awaiting further consideration.