Last week, two separate acquaintances grilled me about my marital status: “I can’t believe you’re not married! You are getting married, right? When are you getting married?”
Well, mere acquaintances, I’m not getting married until gay marriage, polygamy, and time travel all become legal. When that scintillating day arrives, you may dance at my wedding. Meet the brides:
Sarah Haskins
Martha Beck
Anna Russell (death is no match for true love!)
Sarah, Martha, Anna, Mr. Jaunty and I will live in a seaside cottage. We will take a brisk swim in the saltwater every morning and rest by the fire at night. We will play Scrabble every Sunday, and I will always lose. My handerchiefs will be monogrammed R.R.W.H.B.R.; A little clunky, yes, but marriage entails compromise.
No presents, please.
Casting aside sexual orientation, death, and reality— who would YOU like to marry?
OH beck, I’d say you’d be one of the wives…mostly because I like to listen when you talk, which is rare with females.
Of course, I would marry James but other than you two, I can’t think of anyone else that I would listening to 
(that’s my big thing, btw).
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I would like to marry someone who would fix the car, take out the garbage, pick up the financial slack, be good for a few laughs on a summer night and otherwise let me be to do what I want. Too much to ask after serving the master twice? Oh, ladies, I don’t think so!
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Who would I marry?
I don’t actually think I would marry. But if I did I am Quite Smitten with the Cheshire Cat in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. he is handsome, winsome, mysterious, and has a wonderful purrrrry voice. Ahhhhh……
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I would marry:
1. Iron Chef Michael Symon
2. Actress Scarlett Johansson
3. Food Network Host Alton Brown
4. Howl (from Howl’s Moving Castle)
5. John Adams (2nd President)
6. Comedian Janeane Garofalo
7. Actor Tony Shaloub
8. Batman (from the Animated Series, NOT Adam West’s version)
9. The Starman (as played by Jeff Bridges)
10. Miles Vorkosigan (from the novels by Lois McMaster Bujold)
to name just a few….
And I had never heard of Sarah Haskins before — she’s pretty funny!
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Morrissey. Sadly, I have the feeling he’d never have me.
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celia – I’m honored! Better make room in that seaside cottage. You and Diego can play on the beach.
jean – Throw in some exceptional listening skills, and I think you’ve got a good team!
Stitchywitchy – I suspect that MANY women would like to meet that particular cat. Good casting.
Hazelnutmegan – What a well-rounded list! A+ for getting into the spirit of things.
Pravit – Not if I see him first!
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Time travel isn’t illegal!
Hokey though it may be, I would only marry Jay. I never wanted to marry anyone but him anyhow, though I used to have a lot of “imaginary boyfriends.”
We took a quiz in a pregnancy magazine last night titled “Is Your Man Ready to Have a Baby?” His result – “If your man was any more ready for pregnancy, he’d have his feet up in stirrups.” Ha HA!
I used to think married people who went around asking their friends to get married were a bunch of jerks who were trying to recruit everyone else to share their misery, but honestly, I never had this much fun when I was single. I understand ‘taint for everyone though. Revel in your joyous single self!
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hmmm, well both gay marriage and poligamy ARE legal in certain parts of the world, maybe all you need is a plane-ticket? time travel to my knowledge has never been outlawed but it _is_ a little tricky finding a good pilot/conductor for those troublesome glitch-filled machines… LOL
seriously, if I could marry anyone it would be….
1. A big rugged less-than-handsome but oh so loveable very faithful and quick-witted Scotsman who loves wearing his kilt and would whisk me away to his humble abode in the Highlands where we’d live happily every after with 10 kids to our name….
2. Failing that, an Irishman would do to… ditto on the above scenario except for the kilt part. Oh, but he’d have to be a bit cuter to make up for that.
3. Ugh, I never thought I’d say this but I’d even settle for a Norwegian (which is probably a good thing since my Uncle in Norway is busy trying his hand at matchmaking as I type…)
4. Oh who am I fooling – a decent man, single, caring, faithful, temple-worthy, doesn’t do anything that drives me too crazy or threatens to ruin a marriage later down the road, and you’ll hear wedding bells… I am not in such a good position to be picky these days… hahaha
No gals at the current moment, though the thought has crossed my mind before…
whatcha got against marriage girl?? I think it’d be awesome. With the right person of course. Though I understand your plight as far as not liking being grilled by relatives – THAT is never fun! Well that was a fun little chance to fantasize, back to reality now…
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Ming – Not so much illegal as… challenging? Improbable? I’m so happy you married the right fella!
I once read a letter in the Ensign [Mormon magazine] whose author said that getting married is like buying a pair of shoes; if you find a pair you like, you don’t need to try on every pair in the mall. How’s THAT for a terrible analogy? If I honestly believed you had to spend “time and all eternity” with one pair of shoes, you bet your life I’d take my time choosing them. Sheesh! Choosing a mate is THE time to be picky.
Sierra – I don’t so much need actual time travel as for someone to kindly resurrect Anna Russell for me. Though really, if I had that kind of money, I’d take you skydiving. Priorities!
It is NEVER wrong to be selective about life-partners. I do love a good kilt.
Marriage is a-okay for other people. I feel the same way about olives, law school, and cable television.
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I thoroughly enjoyed my single days! As for marriage, I am quite the opposite of Ming, it was always my dearest dream to grow up, go to college meet the right guy, get married, have babies. Since my timeline has been thrown so ridiculously out of whack, I’m not sure it’s worth the bother to sort it all back out again. Apparently I’ve done it all backwards; right guy, kids, school, in that order! I get a nice sum from the feds for being a single mom in school, and I’m not willing to give that up, so no marriage until I’m done, which is probably a good 3 years away, and then my kids would be too old to make really cute ringbearer/flowergirl. I don’t handle stress well and I’m not organized enough to put together a wedding, so…I give up! no wedding. maybe, maybe, MAYBE a courthouse appearance, but, then there’s still the matter of an unfinished divorce. Well, enough real life…how about wish life?
I’d marry…
Robert Downey Jr.
Jenna Elfman
Sandra Bullock
Dean McDermott…he’s already married, but he’s so sweet to Tori!
I can’t think.
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Sierra had it right…start with a single guy…I bet that helps.
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Winter – “Well, enough real life…how about wish life?” Perfect! If I had a dollar for every time I’d thought that…
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