Ways I Can Try To Be More Like Jesus:
1- Stop shopping for clothes. Wear sandals all year round. Stop following fashion trends. Find one basic outfit that is comfy and stick with it.
2- Eat simple, unprocessed, locally grown food.
3- Give up my car, borrow a donkey, or walk. On water if necessary.
4- Stop cutting my hair, stop shaving.
5- Skip the whole Christmas thing, thereby saving a fortune on gifts, gift wrap, holiday junk food and stress.
6- Go to synagogue and tell the rabbi what’s what!
7- Make my own wine.
8- Tell really great, slightly mysterious stories, preferably ones open to multiple interpretations.
-Ms. Mama
You forgot:
Tell all my friends ‘I’ll be right back’ and then never return again.
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I didn’t say that…musta been James and he didn’t notice right above where it says name and email…
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James – This works best riiiiiiight before your waiter brings the check.
Winter Ah, I shoulda guessed. I’ve changed the name, tentatively.
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Whoever said it, it is funny, and also very true.
Although I must point out true believers will insist he didn’t “never return again”, he just hasn’t returned Yet. Could be here at any minute. Better look busy.
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Another fashion tip from the savior: You’re gonna need big sleeves to store loaves and fishes in. Or perhaps full skirts, but they require more lessons in sleight-of-hand to go along with them. Not a money saver.
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Stitchywitchy – All good and faithful servants do their best to at least LOOK busy.
Ming – Conceal my upper arms AND eliminate pesky lunch boxes? How chic!
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