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Today, a third grade boy paid me the compliment of a lifetime; he said, “You look like Willy Wonka… … ’s wife!” I was honored. What gave him the idea? My waistcoat and brown top hat? Perhaps his mother doesn’t dress that way. “If you want to view paradise Simply look around and view it Anything you [...] 
As I was walking home from school, I noticed seated stranger leering at me. Not a casual glance, mind you; this guy’s eyes were GLUED to my skirt. “Waiting for the bus?” he asked. “No.” I answered, avoiding eye contact. “You like to walk, eh?” “Yes.” “I can tell! You got some BIG ol’ legs!” [...] 
Guess who gave her [mandatory] Senior Recital yesterday? It was me! MEEEEEEE! Ms. Rebekah R. Jaunty! It wasn’t the most fun I’ve ever had— I’m not a Singer, so performing publicly for thirty minutes was… ~cough cough~ ~AHEM~ challenging. Still, I survived. I could have skipped town or faked my own death, but I [...] 
Two days before Christmas, my university’s Financial Aid office informed me that I no longer qualified for grant money. I wept and wailed here. Remember? Well, tonight I received a message from that selfsame Financial Aid office, and it seemed to indicate that my aid money had arrived. “Aid money?” I whispered, bewildered, “One of [...] 
Jaunty Dame: You’ve been raising chickens for some time now, and I understand that a male named Foghorn was raising cain in the hen house. How did you establish yourself as Alpha Rooster? Ms. Mama: I read about chicken psychology online. Chickens only have brains the size of a pea, not a lot of deep, [...] 
Of all the numb-skulled, senseless “Wait, what?!” things I bought last year, The Hands Down Worst Purchase of 2009 was… … two pair of Leg Avenue peachy-flesh-toned fishnet thigh-high stockings. I love fishnets, and I thought thigh-highs might suit me better than standard pantyhose. In the words of Fastball, “How could I have ever been so blind?” PRODUCT REVIEW: These Leg Avenue stockings come in one [...] 
I carted home plenty o’ gems over the past twelve months, but these stand out as the finest, most worthy purchases— arranged by price and chronology: Vibram Fivefingers
Back in January 2009, I threw down $80 for a pair of these ultra-flexible gloves-for-feet. FAR too expensive for my lifestyle, but so surprisingly comfortable that [...] |
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Copyright © 2012 Jaunty Dame - All Rights Reserved |
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