This year, I decided to be a gentleman for Halloween. As Issac Mizrahi said in How To Have Style, “Always good to bend a gender.”
Remembering that most gentlemen lack my Distinct Curves®, I used an Ace bandage to craft a very snug tube top. Hey, if it’s good enough for Yentl, it’s good enough. Period.
I used mascara and some of Mr. Jaunty’s stage makeup to paint on my oh-so-luscious facial hair. I’m pretty sure Burt Reynolds does the same thing.
Next, I rifled through my closet and dug out all my manliest duds.
While I was digging and wondering how to disguise my non-manly lower half, my friend Annie called. She was having trouble pulling together a costume, so I told her to come on over…
… and I lent her some snappy threads. Thus was Annie Oakley reborn in my bedroom.
Ms. Oakley and I spent the evening watching Nosferatu at the Rio Grande Theater. We came home completely exhausted— zowie, does that movie plod along— and I forgot to solicit photos until she’d changed halfway out of her costume. My apologies, ma’am.
Readers, if you can imagine Ms. Oakley + teal boots +Ian’s straw hat - blue jeans, then you can imagine what a striking couple we made.
Ooh! Ah!
Funny that I’d worn every piece of our “costumes” to school over the past two weeks. One woman’s costume is another woman’s workaday wardrobe, apparently.
Suitable for framing, folks! Get your autographed 8×10 glossies here!
Mr. Jaunty was openly relieved when I washed off my manly visage. Me? I suffered a mysterious sense of loss.
*heavy sigh*
NOTES: If you try this at home, be sure to use washable mascara. Also, be careful when removing your very snug Ace tube top. Those self-adhesive bandages are no laughing matter.
Fascinating. It’s like peeking into the future to see what your sons will look like when they are all grown up.
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Oh wow. Oh wow. I know you weren’t specifically going for a Rufus Wainwright here, but jeez louise, you’re a spitting image.
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Very much the Billy the Kid look.
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That’s some quality gender bending! I love it!! S.
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Wooooooow!!!! It is so cool (and I must confess, weird too! hahaha). You guys dress much better there than here in Halloween. That might have to do with the fact that Halloween is not a well-known party here.
Your face changes completely with mustache! hahaha You’re still sexy, though… grrrrrrrrrrrrr =)
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Rock on with your bad self, lady man lady!
That first picture is WAY more shocking and revealing than the bubble bath one you had me take off of my blog. :P
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I love the cap’n Morgan stance in picture #2!
I am also a big fan of the face made in #3. Noel makes this face when he has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar.
“Speeding? Officer, I assure you I was not even aware of the fact that I was driving.”
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Remember that time you showed me pictures of yourself dressed up as a man and I didn’t recognize you? This (dressing as a man) seems to be a life-long trend of yours. If you ever have a sex-change operation, I will not be shocked. I don’t expect it, but it wouldn’t be shocking, either.
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Good Lord you’re a handsome thing!
Makes me wish I could use 90% of your genetic material and create another son or two, you do a mama proud!
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Jen – Much as I hate to waste these studly genes, I’m leaning toward adoption.
Greg – Rufus was my sideburn inspiration, but mascara is a crude medium and I couldn’t manage his artful shaping. The floppy 90′s hair strengthens our resemblance. I made an “Attempted Mustache” joke while doing my makeup, it’s my favorite album title of all time.
Andrew – True! HE had a rather womanly lower half, too.
S. – I’m honored!
Smiley Woman – Why is it easier to be handsome than to be pretty? It’s a mystery.
Ming – Granted, I was LDS when I censored your blog and about 178% easier to offend, but you have a point. I’m debating with myself about whether to leave up the chest-binding photo. I mean, it’s so androgynous and homely that I don’t see it as ‘provocative’, but I can take it down if it makes people uncomfortable.
Redd – And Noel has the perfect face for making that face. “Cookie jar? Forgive me for not understanding, dear lady!”
oneup – If I had that kind of money, I’d buy a house. Or a lifetime supply of chocolate chip cookies. At LEAST a trip to Germany so I could casually pass you on the street and see if you noticed…
Leslie – If you had another son or two, you’ve have at least 18 years of childrearing to go. Aren’t chickens easier?
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Easier? None of my children ever seriously tried to kill or eat each other, so in some ways raising kids is easier. Violence aside, just try getting a chicken to help hand out the wash or peel potatoes for supper.
You do make a good point about the next 18 years though….I’m sure I can find plenty to do without spending 24/7 raising two more kids, haha.
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This is the most Rebekah I’ve seen since we lived together. Brava/o to you! You make a snappy dude. But I knew this.
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Hehehehe. So, wait…which parts were mascara?
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Rebekah Reply:
January 3rd, 2010 at 6:57 AM
C’mon, you KNOW I wouldn’t neglect my eyebrows like that.
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That’s one sexy man! ;)
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Rebekah Reply:
March 14th, 2011 at 11:19 PM
Amen and hallelujah!
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