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Two weeks to go! College students everywhere are runnin’ ye olde gauntlet o’ final exams.
The semester is nearly at an end, which means I’m atoning for past sins ( i.e. cramming for tests). I hate to neglect my adoring fans (both of you), but I’d also hate to trash [...] 
Everywhere I go, girls are chattering about certain teenybopper vampires and werewolves. Sorry, unnamed sexist over-hyped book/film series, but I only have eyes for one brooding, sensual, vaguely menacing older man with famous fangs:
He even likes babies. 
Spirits were high at Jaunty Headquarters. Mr. Jaunty’s last client had finally settled accounts, and after three weeks of tearing out my boyish hair, I’d cracked the co-op mystery. We used to think the local co-op was being sabotaged by an employee, but “Beach Wolf” was a red herring. Very clever, but not clever enough [...] 
Lately, I’ve been hankering for the simple, down home comfort of a hot water bottle. Oh, I may seem rugged and fearless, but winter depresses the ho ho ho out of me. The chapped skin, the sky-high utility bills, the myriad downsides of the holiday season… Humbug! Anything warm and nostalgic is greatly welcome. So [...] 
On Friday I woke up late, brushed my teeth, climbed into my rattiest clothes, and staggered to work.
That’s right, I appeared publicly wearing sneakers AND a cap, two things I hate. I was a disgrace to androgyny’s noble history. David Bowie would be ashamed! Readers, I wasn’t thrilled to be seen with myself. But all [...] 
I found the following paper lying in a computer lab and couldn’t tear my eyes away: ———————————————————————————————————————————— Firstname Surname UNIV 150 Oct. 15th, 2009 Job Offers Presentation Response I’m very meticulous about how I plan my life out, what I’m advancing towards in [...] 
Before I could wax poetic about many-splendored Diva Cups, Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen (formerly My Wardrobe Today) beat me there. If you are a 1) person who has menstrual periods and hates buying overpriced wads of cotton or 2) a person who hates landfills and can influence your friends/family who DO have periods or 3) some combination [...] 
I wore flip-flops from June through October keeping my toenails painted a cheerful rosy pink. I loved glancing down and seeing well-groomed feet. ‘See?’ I’d think, ‘You’re not frumpy any more! Why, you even maintain a decent pedicure!’ But months of nail polish will do bad, bad things to a girl, and under that [...] 
When Mr. Jaunty and I moved in together a scant three months ago, I bought a set of crisp new dishtowels. I thought these ‘good’ towels would remain white and unsullied while my older, uglier dishtowels handled any dirty work. Should they get a little dingy, couldn’t I bleach them back to snowy white perfection? [...] 
This year, I decided to be a gentleman for Halloween. As Issac Mizrahi said in How To Have Style, “Always good to bend a gender.” Remembering that most gentlemen lack my Distinct Curves®, I used an Ace bandage to craft a very snug tube top. Hey, if it’s good enough for Yentl, it’s good enough. [...] |
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